Monday, May 6, 2013

Day 14 Post Ramble

The problem with rambles is they can easily be used to excuse the writing. A lot of stuff I write about ends up walking this tight rope. I don't ever write about why I am writing to excuse anything I write. Ha. Say that ten times fast.

My point being is it is weird to write about identity politics and my personal sexuality but that is the point of this blog. When I started transitioning I made an agreement with myself that I would be out and open about the whole process & this is where the blog came from.

That being sometimes I just state it like it is for me. I have made it a priority to walk with the people I bring into my life. This means I feel and process a lot of pain especially as an empath which has given me a unique experience on identity. I write about this a lot. I get nervous writing about it because of all the shit allies & people who don't have the identity do. I am also to have a conversation about anything i write.

Mostly i believe a necessary part of writing is writing fearlessly. I've been on a big hating white people phase because it is what pain I am processing. I don't know how else to explain it. I don't really hate anyone. I have close white identifying friends, more than one even. ;) I have need to vent the anger I have thus I write. Also, when reading my work I think it is important than often I play with defining a word. What does white mean? More than the color of someone skin it means colonization, it means white supremacy. Skin privilege thus means benefiting from white supremacy. To me there is a difference as one is active and the other is passive.

Oh & the slut thing. I figured it out. The piece I pulled from. Part of the identity politics explored the nature of identity and coping mechanisms like promiscuity. It's something I want to explore more. In me, promiscuity is different. Being a mental person and an empath, I am satisfied having multi interpersonal relationships that are or are not or not currently or might be at some point sexual. I think this is why I want to write more about promiscuity. Ugh, I really dislike that word.

Anywho, info dump complete.

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