Monday, April 9, 2012

cement blocks

and my feet fell heavy
cement blocks anchoring me to the bottom.
To try to walk along the river bed.
drowned. offed.


and this is a direct symbology to
how I really feel in this moment.
One foot up then down.
I am at turtle.


People make me so nervous.
I try to open my mouth and
something else comes out.


I know I am in there somewhere
but this is not what I am showing others.


I have decided this is my filter.
Can I trust you?
Can I trust you to accept my faults?
If I acted disfunctional enough will you still talk to me tomorrow?


Can I trust you?
Can I trust you to take my hand and hold me close when I start stuttering?
or will you shun me?
and feed me to the dogs?

Will I end up having to deal with your crazy making?
Or will you hold me tight and assure me it will all be ok?

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