Thursday, July 24, 2008


We have a group here in Portland that is really awesome it is called Transguyz. Here are some resource we gather last meeting.
Trans resources in PDX
Natropath in PDX specializing in trans health and Testostrone

-smitty of the CoG

Friday, July 11, 2008

feeling normal

In  my last posts I comment that I didn't feel anything. This is true I have felt completely normal which is actually not normal since this is the time of the month when my estrogen usually flares up. So feeling normal is awesome. I got so caught up in feeling something I forgot the reason I started this process was to feel normal. Cheers to feeling normal. :)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

First Shot

Mellow-dramatic and anticlimactic all at the same time. My adrenaline was going so hard after riding my bike in rush hour traffic on a hot day in Portland and the excitement and anxiety over what was about to happen that when it did I lost it and almost passed out. But other than feeling nauseated due to a lack of water and over excitement, I don't really feel any different.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

My partner story of picking up T

Smitty asked me to pick up his first prescription of T for him, since I would have the car today. So I want to the counter and said, "I need to pick up this prescription." I handed the slip to the clerk. He looked at me, looked at my chest, then looked at my face again and said, "not for you...?" Me: "no, its for my partner." He asked about drug allergies etc. and said it would be ready in about 10 minutes. I wandered around the tiny pharmacy. After a while I sat on the steps and stared into space. The Pharmacist called out "____ Petersen...?" and looked at me as I got up and walked to the window. He said,(looking at my chest) " _____?..." Me: " No, that's my partner." Pharmacist: "OH, has she taken this before? Me: "No." Pharmacist: "well..." Me: "HE is going to the doctor tomorrow for the first injection." Pharmacist: "Oh, well does he need needles?" Me: "Yes." Pharmacist:" well I can give her some needles, and does she have a sharps container?" Me: "No." Pharmacist: "well I will get her one." Me: (getting icey) "OK." Pharmacist:"Well I am going to give her ten needles, there are about 12 doses in this bottle and the doctor should give her one needle at the first injection, and then here is her sharps container." Me: "OK." GRRR...


I had my appointment last night to get my first prescription. On Wednesday I will learn how to give myself shots and get my first shot. I am nervous and feel sick with anticipation. My partner is now picking up the prescription. It costs $50 for a 5cc. For the first month I will only be taking shots of 50ml so it will last a bit. Next month, I will get my next prescription which will be 10cc and also cost $50 but it will last for 3 months.

My doctor spoke last night about all the changes I will go through. I know of a lot of them but not everything. One thing he said was that my sex drive might go down where as I had only heard of it going up. He also said that mostly people get less anxiety and depression but sometimes people encounter more. Also that I should assume I won't be able to have kids anymore. Oh and that in five years I might have vaginal dryness and have to put estrogen cream on. Scarey... Of course he went over the usual I will get hairier, probably build muscle mass and my voice will deepen. This will take usually around 3 to 6 months. Oh I thought was interesting that my red blood cell count will probably go up. Also redistribution of fat away from my butt and hips and onto my spare tire. I was looking at my body last night (I have NO butt or thighs and I already have a good spare tire.) and thought that I will have to do more sit-ups. Oh and my clit is suppose to grow. I think that is everything he told me.

We went to see the counselor last week and he told me a lot of things I didn't think about. About how I will become more angry and aggressive and how I might not be able to process my emotions as well. Since I have struggled with my anger problem and my inability to deal with my emotions I am hoping that I can continue to use the resources I have found to work on these problem as well as research new ones. He said the way i think will change. A lot of the things i identify with will become stronger like my analytical brain. I think this whole process makes me wonder how much testosterone I had in the first place. My body is about to bleed and I am so happy that I am starting now as I foresee it making it easier even though I will still bleed this month. It is really the estrogen increase that makes me crazy not more than the actual blood. Anyway more soon.